Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
