THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
