you guys were way drunker than both of me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
