Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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