fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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