Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize