My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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