We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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