? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
