I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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