Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize