Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
