I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
