i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
