He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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