Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
