Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
