Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
