my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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