how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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