no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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