I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
