So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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