I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
