I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
