Apparently you make a good broom.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
