he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
