I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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