Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
