atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You took a bar mat shot.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
