hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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