so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
