and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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