I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
