matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
