The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just high enough for therapy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Who died my cat blue again?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
