the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
