I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize