found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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