ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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