I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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