You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
