we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
