I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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