He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
