I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
