I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
