separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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