not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
PANTIES FOUND
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
