Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
