Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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