If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
