And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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