Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
