Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize