Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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