you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
