dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
