did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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