omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
