my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
