he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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