Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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