When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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