Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you get engaged???

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks

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(260): View more from Indiana

I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.

(260): View more from Indiana

Sorry- wrong number! :)

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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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(941): View more from Florida

Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

(813): View more from Florida

Crosswalk actually

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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(630): View more from Illinois

OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition

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(646): View more from New York

Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast

(646): View more from New York

But I am godly

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