I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
